Special Guest Appearance From God: Pewter City Lab Pt 8

Chapter VIII: Ash Dies

Ash woke up. He expected to be back in his old body but he wasn’t. James and Meowth didn’t know that. Good thing. Jessie hadn’t woken up yet. They were waiting to throw him in the cage as soon as he opened his eyes. Ash quietly sunk past them and opened the cage and Pikachu jumped into his arms. Ash hugged Pikachu and started for the door.

“STOP!” Jessie screamed waking up.

Well, that’s unfortunate.

    “Uh oh!” Ash and Pikachu said together.

James and Meowth quickly relised that it didn’t work. James and Meowth ran after him. Ash opened the door and shit it [Um. ] behind him. SMACK! BANG! Meowth and James both ran strait into the door.

TR seems to be defeated by doors often in my universe.

“Do I have to do everything myself?” Jessie muttered.

Ash and Pikachu ran as fast as they could through the woods. [Shit, there’s a cliff up ahead, isn’t there?] Suddenly Ash and Pikachu came to the dead end. A huge cliff that led down a canyon. [ And at some point, Ash is going off it.] The drop looked like it went down forever.
“Prepare for trouble!” Jessie yelled running towards them.

lol wat?

Ash suddenly had a huge headache. Jessie missed them and ran right off the cliff.

Jessie failing; featured above.

While she was falling she fainted. Ash was so dizzy he fell down to the ground.

Chekhov’s gun at its finest.

Ash woke but he didn’t even look around him before he knew what was happeaning.

Either Ash has extreme cognitive response times or this drop leads to the center of the earth.

“Bulbasaur!” Ash screamed.
The Poke’mon landed on a small edge. Ash saw the ground [This is to reassure us that he’s not falling forever in a endless void.] still far away but coming closer [I think people who skydive fall faster]. Bulbasaur tried to grab Ash with his vine but Ash was just to heavy. Bulbasaur fell of the legde he was on and started pulleting [ew what?] with Ash to the ground.
“Pigeotto!” Ash screamed. Pigeotto came out of his Poke’ball. “Pigeotto, get Bulbasaur to safety!” Ash screamed.

Wait. What? Why didn’t you just return Bulbasaur and try to use Pigeotto like a makeshift parachute? I mean, Pigeotto knows fly in the game so technically it should be able to carry Ash’s weight. ASH YOU DUMB. YOU CAN’T POKEMAN. 

Pigeotto grabbed Bulbasaur and flew to the top of the cliff. Ash knew Pigeotto could of saved him [LOLWAT?] but he knew Bulbasaur then would have the fate he has now [OR HE’D BE SAFE IN HIS POKEBALL YOU BIG DUMMY!]. Underneth him was a lake but the water wouldn’t save him.

At the rate that Ash has been falling, I’m pretty sure he somehow jumped off at the top of the world. Yeah, the chances of survival are pretty slim.

What Ash should have done, seen here.

Pikachu saw Ash faint (or the Ash in Jessie’s body). [Still confusing!] Pikachu ran away from Jessie just in case she woke up. When Pikachu made it in the bushes It looked off the egde again. [Sentient bushes? The hell? And they are concerned about the depth of this cliff too!] Suddenly Pigeotto appeared carring Bulbasaur. No Ash.
“Pika!” Pikachu sobbed.

He’s clearly mourning the loss of that hat.

Ash opened his eyes. All around him was bright lights.

Oh.

“ASH!” A voice called. Ash looked around him, he seemed to be floating in the air. Uh, oh.
“Ash, so you figured it out.” the voice called.

Oh god no.

“I’m to young to be dead!” Ash yelled to the voice!
“I know, but so are alot of other people who come here.”

No. Wait. Stop. I did not just-

“But my family, friends, Poke’mon.” Ash cried.
“Don’t worry, Ash. You’re not staying here long.”
“What?” Ash called.

Am I seriously reading a fanfic I wrote where Ash has a conversation with God?!  The f–k is this?!

 

“You are very brave, Ash. You were not to die but Bulbasaur is the one that was to come.”

ASH THIS COULD ALL HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU COULD JUST POKEMAN!

“Not Bulbasaur! I’d rather stay here than have Bulbasaur die!” Ash cried. [“But returning him to his pokeball, no. No, that makes no sense. It’s not like we made those devices to make our Pokemon portable or anything.”]
“We don’t want you or your Bulbasaur yet. You courage saved a friend, and your life too. We will allow you to go.”

I would ask why God would do this for Ash and his pet dinosaur but not like any other self sacrificing hero ever, but I’m thinking the answer is BECAUSEBADFANFICPLOTHOLELAWLS.

“Thank you.” Ash repiled.
“No thank you. Until we meet again, Ash. Your bravery will be rembered by us. [We in heaven will always remember the time one boy was too stupid to return his Pokemon to his pokeball and decided to fall to his death instead.]”

What if God was just trolling? He sends Ash back to his crushed body just long enough for Ash to drown. Then he returns to heaven all pissed off.
Ash: Da faq was that?
God: Got ya! God don’t work like that. Next time return your Pokemon, dipshit.

Ash swam to the surface of the water. he breathed in the air. Was that God?
[ WHY WAS THIS IN MY FANFIC AGAIN?] Ash thought to himself. Who ever he was he called me brave. Wait till I tell Misty. [I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.] If I tell Misty, I might be going back to that place [FIRST RULE OF HEAVEN, DON’T TALK ABOUT HEAVEN.] if I don’t think of how to get out of this lake.

NEXT TIME ON PCL, God! Body swapping! Cliffs! Talking bushes! I don’t give a shit anymore! It’s almost over!Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! 

Aiohdfjhdfoiehjbfdsjfdfdoiejfenlflndskldfnkldfnk!!!111111