Frankachu Foreshadowing Pays Off: Ashachu to the Rescue Pt 6

Chapter VI: Everyone Dies

“Are they coming?” Jessie questioned.

“Yep! They are about to fall right into our [obviously laid] trap!” James said after finishing imatading Misty’s and Brock’s voices.

Apparently this is James’ sudden hidden talent. So hidden that even 4kids didn’t know about it.

“Misty and Brock fell for the Pikachu voices!” Meowth said all full of himself.

They didn’t even notice the hint of the brooklan accent, for some reason.

“Those Pikachu will fall into the hole we made and the rest of Team Twirps will see the world upside down hanging by one foot on a tree!” Jessie giggled.

Did everybody get that? Team Rocket was reiterating their plan for you, after all.

“I don’t feel right.” Pikachu told Ash.

If this were the opening this fanfiction, it could lead in a very different and very disturbing direction. And… yup. Just made myself uncomfortable. Right there. 

“Come on you can’t be serious. Can you?” Ash questioned.

Just then Ash felt the ground underneath his feet go.

IRONY!!!

“AHH!” Ash and PIkachu screamed as they fell into a huge hole.

Again. I mean really, you think they’d learn by now.

“Look what we have caught! A Pikachu and a Ashachu!” Meowth laughed.

Oh stop it, Meowth. You’re killing me. 

“Told ya!” Pikachu wispered.

“Shut up [Mokuba. Yeah. I just went there.]!” Ash shouted.

“Thanks for the transformer. [ Bumblebee?!] Now we will have more Pikachu.” Team Rocket laughed.

Or you could just quit while you’re ahead and prevent the inevitable rescue from occuring. I mean, it would be a refreshing change. Even if it does end the series.

Close by Misty and Brock came up the road. Team Rocket took the Transformer and ran into the bushes.

“I don’t hear them anymore, Brock. Something is wrong!” Misty said.

Suddenly “Pika, Pika! Chu, pika, pikachu!”

“I hear them! There here somewhere!” Brock said happily.

I actually can’t think of anything to say to this.

Misty stopped walking. It sounded like the were tring to tell us something, Misty thought.

It’s like I was trying to tell myself something with the sentence too…

Sounds like “Stay back, It’s a trap!”

For some reason the water pokemon trainer is fluent in pikachu.

 Oh my gosh!

“Brock wait!” Misty screamed.

But it was too late!

Of course.

Team Rocket had him hanging upside down from a tree.

James also has badass lassoing skills.

Obviously a man of many talents.  

“Just a little father, Pikachu!” Ash shouted to Pikachu below. “Made it! AHH!” Ash couldn’t belive what was happening.

Brock and Jessie making out spiderman style?

 Brock was hanging upside down from a  tree and Team Rocket had the transfomer pointed at Misty.

Shucks. I was sure I got that one.

Without thinking, jumped in front of Misty just when Jessie pulled the trigger.

“Ash!” Misty screamed.

Oh noes! What could possibly happen if Ash gets hit by the gun twice? Do his insides get flipped on the outside? Does he turn into a trebble? Does he evolve? Or does he lamely just revert back into his normal self.

Again there was a puff of smoke.

At least me and pokemonUSA think alike in that sense. Smoke and Ash equal Ashachu!!

Misty was overjoyed because there Ash stood completle human form again.

“I’m back!” Ash said happily!

You were never gone, sherlock.

“But not for long!” Jessie said pointing a gun at Misty and Ash again.

Oh no! What could happen now?

“PikaaaCHUU!” Pikachu said thundershocking Jessie.

Wow. How completely original. That’s never happened before!

Jessie fell back into the hole actadently bringing James and Meowth with her.

“Pikachu!” Ash said hugging Pikachu happily. “I’m human again!”

Pikachu has to glance at Ash’s hat to feel reassured.

“Great, now let me down from here!” Brock yelled.

The End.

Eventually, they do let Brock down from the tree. But only it only takes Team Rocket a half an hour to recover.  They try to use to gun on Ash again, but Brock, feeling suddenly heroic, decides to jump in the way. Unfortunately, Misty and Ash don’t care nearly as much. With the rest of team twerps’ blessing, Team Rocket finally has a Pikachu to give to their boss. James immediately takes to money earned to go pursue his lifelong dream in becoming the world’s greatest rodeo clown.

Shouting Slowly: Ashachu to the Rescue Pt 5

Chapter V: A Very Short Romp In The Woods

“That was great Pikachu! You really creamed James!” Ash laughed. They were running through the woods hoping to find Misty and Brock.

“You weren’t so bad yourself! Did you see the look on Jessie’s face when you slammed the door of the cage into her face? Pikachu laughed. “I’ve never laughed so hard.”

Watching people wither in pain is funny!

“Do you have the Transformer [Optimus Prime?] thing?” Ash asked Pikachu.

“Oh crap. I knew there was something I forgot!”

“Of corse I do. Now we need find Misty and Brock so they can change you back.” Pikachu said as he ran.

“Hey! Our secert weapon is gone! Those Pikachu must have it!”

Nah. You think?

Jessie hissed.

“That means Ash and Pikachu will be looking for us!

Or for a trigger happy trainer that has no qualms shooting a few pikachu with a strange looking weapon.

 They can’t pull the trigger themselves!”

Unless they get tips from the Pikachu in Super Smash Brothers.

You got to feel sorry for Team Rocket should they ever find this Pikachu.

Misty said. “Come on Brock!”

Brock and Misty started to run through the dense forest.

“Hey! They are going to get our pikachu! Come on! We have to stop them!” Meowth yelled to the rest of Team Rocket that was still searching the bushes.

But shouldn’t they keep looking in the bushes? I mean… it was never officially established that they weren’t there.

“I don’t see them anywhere! Ash panited all out of breath. “Maybe Team Rocket lied and turned them into a pokemon.”

Oh my god. That’d be a first. Team Rocket lying? Who would have thunk?

“It wouldn’t surprize me.” Pikachu answered.

Nothing would surprise you, Pikachu. I still expect you to be chatting with that log sometime in the future.

Ash ears picked up a sound.

“Ash… Pikachu… Where… are… you?”

Apparently Misty and Brock are shouting for them very slowly.

“I think I hear them, Pikachu!” Ash shouted happily.

“Me too!” Pikachu agreed.

“We are over here!” Ash and Pikachu yelled together.

Because there’s absolutely no chance that some one like… iunno- someone like Team Rocket could hear them too. That’s just inconceivable!

“Pika, Pika, Chu!”

“I heard them Brock. They are over here!” Misty yelled happily to Brock.

“I hear them! They are right over there!” Ash yelled to Pikachu.

How long are we going to keep this up?

Pikachu didn’t feel quite right. “I don’t think that’s them.” Pikachu said unsure of what he was saying.

Don’t worry Pikachu. It’s called foreshadowing. I had to force it in somehow. 

“What are you kidding? Of corse that’s them!” Ash said.

Next time on Ashachu To The Rescue, Ash and Misty continue to have a shouting match across the forest. Eventually they reach a clearing where they’ll run towards each other shouting the other’s name but never quite reach each other.  “Chosen One!” “I’m coming!” “Chosen One!” “I’m coming!” Meanwhile Brock is maimed by a man named Betty to the song Baby’s got Back. If you didn’t get the joke. Don’t worry, the finale of this story is coming next time- thank god.

Well, That Was Easy: Ashachu to the Rescue Pt 4

Chapter IV: Ash Rescues Himself

Ash was in a panick. How? He thought. How can I be a pokemon? What happened? The last thing I rember seeing is that ray gun and jumping in front…

Surely that couldn’t have anything to do with my current situation!!

the gun. Their secret weapon. Misty? Brock? Were they turned into pokemon too?

No, Ash. Not everyone shares your enjoyment of running into the line of fire waving your arms around like a dumbass…

See Ash; In Every F-ing Movie

Pikachu where was he?

“Hey did you change Misty and Brock into pokemon? Where is Pikachu?” Ash asked in pokemon.

Ash. Master of subtlety.

“No we didn’t change your friends into pokemon. And Pikachu is in the cage next to you.” Meowth answered.

Seriously?!

In all of Ash’s panick Ash had overlooked the cage that was right next to him.

“Pikachu!” Ash said happily. Pikachu rasied it’s head and stared at him.

“Don’t you rember me? I’m Ash!”

Pikachu nodded its head and then spoke, “I know, but I just can’t belive it. You don’t look like Ash, but you wear his hat.”

You mean it’s easier to believe he’s Ash because of a hat? Come on, Pikachu. 

Does this mean that this is Ash now? Pikachu can’t tell. 

“Pikachu, I think I have an idea on getting out of here. But I can’t tell you just yet, Meowth might be listening. But I will take care of that. Just watch. Hey Meowth,” Ash called.

I don’t like where this is going.

“What?” Meowth replied. He didn’t hear a word they had said. He was to buzy shinying his charm.

Whew. Good thing too. We wouldn’t want to have more conflict would we?

“Come here for a moment.” Ash said slyly. If he is now a Pikachu than he must have Pikachu’s attacks.

It would probably have made it more interesting if he didn’t.

As soon as Meowth touched Ash’s cage,

Seriously, Meowth?

Ash used his biggest thunder bolt while holding on to one of the bars.

“PIKACHU!” Ash said thunder shocking Meowth.

“AHHH!” Meowth screamed then he fainted.

I’m sorry Meowth… If you’re going to be that stupid, you deserve it.

“Now we can talk.” Ash smiled.

And Jessie and James don’t even notice…

Back on the ground,

We were in the air? What? Then how didn’t Jessie and James notice Meowth getting shocked?

Misty was pacing back and forth, and Brock was tring to calm her down.

“Uh, what is Team Rocket doing to them?” Misty asked.

“I sent Golbat looking for them. We will find them. Don’t worry,” Brock said.

Just then Golbat came back bearing news. He had found Ash and Pikachu. They had landed in open area not far from where they were standing. “Oh I hope they are all right,” Misty cried.

Not far away Meowth, James, and Jessie woke.

“Hey the Pikachu are gone!” Meowth yelled.

“That dumb Pikachu. Human or Pokemon he still gets me mad. He hit me with his cage door,” Jessie cried.

“At least you didn’t get thunder shocked by the real Pikachu!” James said.

“Hey!” Brock yelled, “We want our Pikachus back!”

“We don’t have them.” James yelled back.

“Oh,” Brock said. “…Sorry for bothering you then.”

“Ya right! We don’t belive you!” Misty laughted.

Wishful thinking on my part.

“Cheak the cages we don’t have them. They ran off somewhere,” Meowth defened.

Next time, Pikachu will spend an afternoon hanging out with a log because Ash had left his hat resting on it. And while searching for the pikachu, Meowth will fall out of the hot air balloon. Despite that he screamed as he hurtled to his death, Jessie and James won’t notice his absence until they reach the next town.

They Have The Technology: Ashachu to the Rescue Pt 3

Chapter III: The Last Ray Gun Team Rocket Will Ever Need

There was a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James and Meowth gasped. Instead of one unconsies pikachu there was two.

My inner English major is crying.

One of them had Ash’s hat on.

“You changed Ash into a Pikachu!” Misty screamed.

Or maybe TR has devised an ingenious plan in ransoming a random pikachu with ash’s stolen hat on its head to the twerps for several thousand dollars- while as the real Ash is “unconsies” in a typical pit hole several feet away. But alas, I give TR and myself, too much credit.

“Was that what it was supposed to do?” Meowth asked.

It’s so comforting to know that TR will fire a weapon without any true comprehension of what its supposed to do.

Not really sure why I’m surprised though…

“Well the more pikachu the merrier we are.” Meowth grabbed Ash and Jessie grabbed the real Pikachu. Both were asleep so they didn’t feel a thing.

“But Ash isn’t a pikachu!” Misty shouted as Team Rocket climbed into their hot air balloon.

I imagine Misty and Brock shaking their fists at TR while the three kidnappers leisurely climb into their hot air balloon.

Yeah. Like this.

“He won’t be worth anything!”

Misty and Brock tried to stop them from getting away but it was useless.

Lies!

“Correction. He is a new pokemon. A Ashachu!”

Meowth laughed as their hot air balloon rose high out of the reach from Misty and Brock. Misty and Brock watched the Meowth shaped balloon slowly dissapped from their view.

“Wake up Ash!” Misty prayed.

Oh please don’t tell me that this is my transition.

Ash woke up with a sudden jerk.

Where am I? Ash wondered. He looked around him. He was in some kind of cage.

“Oh, our little Ashachu is awake!” Jessie smiled.

I’m going to run out of face palms.

“What do you mean Ashachu?” Ash yelled, but all that came out was “Pika, chu, chu, Pika Pikachu?”

What is wrong with my voice? Ash wondered.

It sounds a little pikaish.

“Do you think he knows?” James asked Jessie.

“Knows what?” Ash said. Again it came out differently. “Pika, Pika?”

“Meowth can you come over here and tell us what Ash is saying?” James called.

Meowth walked over.

“You don’t need a tranlater you can hear me just fine! Can you?” Ash yelled but in the weird voice again.

“He said you can hear him just fine, stop faking it!” Meowth said calmly.

Nice embellishment there, Meowth.

“Doesn’t he know yet?” James questioned.

“I belive not.” Meowth answered.

“Know what?” Ash asked.

“Jessie get your mirror. Don’t ask why just do it.” Meowth said strongly.

Because I’m sure she can’t figure out what you need a mirror for, Meowth. 

Jessie went into her pack and brought out her mirror.

“Notice anything different?” Meowth said holding the mirror up to Ash.

Hm. I do appear a little yellow today.

“AHH! I’m a pokemon! I’m a pikachu!” Ash screamed but all Team Rocket heard was “PIKA! Pika, Pika, Pikachu! Chu, Pika, Pikachu.”

“What did he say? What did he say?” James said like a jolly school boy.

“He said: Ahh, I’m a pikachu!” Meowth answered.

From now on, the rest of the story will be translated by Meowth who will repeat and embellish upon everything that is said. Later, a pack of rabid teddisuras will devour Brock despite Misty’s severe finger wagging and tsk tsk tsking.

Here Comes The Plot!: Ashachu to the Rescue Pt 2

Chapter II: Team Rocket’s Secret Weapon

The next day was sunny and cheerful, just like the one before.

Epic setting laziness.

“Wake up, Meowth. We have our plan to do. We have to get ahead of team twrips so that we can grab their pikachu!” James shouted into the ear of a sleepy-eyed cat-pokemon.

“I think I ate too much tou-fou last night.” Meowth grumbled.

“Or too little.” Jessie said still angrey at the fact that Meowth didn’t even touch the food

Wow. Even being in the presence of Jessie’s cooking makes you full.

she had prepared while standing before a fire that had made her all sooty.

“We don’t have much time! Come on.” James packing up his bag.

I think I forgot the “said” there.

All ready up, Ash, Brock, Misty and Pikachu started down the path. They had each had a apple to start the day.

You guys can’t see it, but there’s an apple drawn in the margin. Apparently that little sentence merited a picture over everything else that happens in this paragraph. Hurray apples!

About 15 minutes down the road Pikachu stopped.

“What is it Pikachu? Do you hear something?” Ash questioned peering into the bushes.

I actually put symbols next to each phrase but I’ll spare you that, as you all obviously know who says what in the following section. And if you don’t- you obviously never watched the first three seasons of pokemon.

Prepare for trouble
Make it double
To protect the world from devastation

I actually butchered the word devastation but couldn’t stand it left that way.

To unite all people within our nation
To denounce

I wrote anouse- announce, perhaps? But that’s not how the motto lyrics go so I changed it.

the evils of truth and love
Jessie
James
Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light
Surreder now or prepare to fight.
Meowth that’s right.

P.S. best motto ever. Even if it was annoying as hell.

“Do you guys always have to say that when you show up?” Ash yawned.

Good question. I think I was not so subtlety directing that to the pokemon animated series staff.

“That is none of you business, is it?” Jessie snapped angrey.

4kid’s answer. 

“Do we?” Meowth questioned.

“Shut up, Meowth!” James hissed. “This time we have a secret weapon.”

“What another motto?” Brock laughed.

“Laugh if you want to,

But not if you don’t.

but this time we will get you for all the times you caused us to fail!” Jessie said coldly.

“I don’t belive you!” Ash giggled.

This line causes me actual pain.

“Then let us try it on your pikachu, shall we?” Jessie said pointing the gun at Pikachu.

“NOOO!” Ash screamed leaping in front of Pikachu.

“Ash!” Misty and Brock yelled.

Jessie pulled the trigger……

Oh no! What will happen! Surely the convenient plot device- I mean, ray gun won’t turn Ash involuntarily into something keen to a rodent with its tail shoved into a wall socket.

No. That should be furtherest thing from your mind.

And can I take misspelling “angry” one more time? I think I’m coming close to my inner English Major limit.

Bad Cooking: Ashachu to the Rescue Pt 1

Chapter I: Apparently No One Can Cook

One day, Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu were all on their way to Pallet town for a break from pokemon catching.

“Hey guys. I think we should stop and start making camp. It has been a long day, and I have been dieing to try out my new stew.” Brock said.  Ash and Misty both stared at him. So Brock added, “I’m sure you’ll both like it. It won’t be like my tou-fou. I promise!”

“I hope not!” Misty said gagging, “I can still taste it.”

“Oh course you can he made it for lunch.” Ash replied.

“Pikachu, pika!” Pikachu said agreeing with him.

I think this was before I realized that Brock was supposed to be good at cooking and Misty was the one who was bad at it.

Not far away, Team Rocket was about to have dinner too! “Not tou-fou again. We have it every night!” Meowth complained.

“It’s the only thing Jessie can cook.” James said.

Is tofu easy to cook?

“You call that cooking?” Meowth yelled. “I call it a dump yard

Yeah, I don’t know what that means either.

“Don’t worry Meowth. Jessie has a secret weapon from the boss. We won’t eat tou-fou much longer. We will finally catch that pikachu!” James shouted proudly.

“Tou-fou is ready!” Jessie called.

“When?” Meowth said eagerly to James.

Now the whole group is all full and ready to go to bed.

“I guess we were wrong. Your cooking is terrific!” Ash said climbing into his sleeping bag which is right beside Pikachu’s bag.

Pikachu has his own sleeping bag?

“Yeah, I ate more then any of you guys, and I don’t even like stew!” Misty said adding some more wood to the camp-fire.

“Thank you! I told you guys you would like it,” Brock said finishing up the dishes. “There, the dishes are all clean.”

“Do you have to tell the whole world. I tring to sleep.” Ash mutted to Brock. “Besides you might wake Pikachu.”

Pikachu was fast asleep in his own little lighting bolt slumber bag.

“How could I wake him?” Brock said quietly. “He sleeps through almost anything!”

“Almost anything! But when you do wake him up, he not only shock you but he thunder shocks all of us!” Ash wispered.

“Both of you be quiet!” Misty yelled.

“Pika pika CHUUUUUUUUUU!!!” Pikachu shocked all of them.

“Thanks alot Misty!” Ash and Brock yelled to the unconcies girl that lay beside them.

What is Team Rocket’s evil plan? Will Ash and company get some sleep? And will I ever learn to use a spell check? Stay tuned for part 2!

Our First Fanfiction Bashing: Ashachu to the Rescue

Disclaimers: I do not own Pokemon. Big surprise.

Okay so this was a request. I’ve started a permanent blog to give these stories their own home. Those who were following the posted parts on my DeviantART journal won’t see anything new here.

For those who haven’t read this yet, I wrote this story nearly ten years ago. I found my old notebooks and decided to share with everyone. But I couldn’t help making fun of my own work. Hence the commentary that eventually came to be. Please don’t take this story seriously. I know it’s awful. No one can know this better than me.

My present day comments will those not in quotes. Just so you know.